Elucidating Questions

It’s the one promise I can count on

Isn’t it?

If I feel uneasy, and say to the Sun

You’ll come back right?

He always will

Usually he says

I’m not going anywhere

But great beings don’t understand distance to something like me

Tiny and swallowed up the the Earth

Yet

When he returns he has this tinge

This “Come stand in me” tinge

Is it colour?

Is it the light missing the people it sees?

Whatever it is I oblige

Behind the tree

Will you be back before I move?

So uneasy these feet with no place to land

And I didn’t jump, the earth was taken from beneath my feet

I used to give my landlord a pass

He was decent and he was creating housing by having his basement for rent

It never occurred to me that after 7 years it would just be like

Yeah you’re out in four, three, two months

Unceremoniously tossed out

I keep begging out into the space around me

Someone find me something

But, you know, currently without what feels like a home because my was a home feels like it’s just slipped so far from my reach

I am now temporary and it will exist long past my exit

Not mine in the slightest

This illusion of possession

What I had fooled myself into feeling was mine was just another passing through moment

At least every Sun beam feels like home

Terrified of the unknown

I know what I imagine

It’ll only be worse

But I stand in the Sun

And it’s familiar, warm, excited to have found me

I can imagine it and it’s exactly that

Maybe because I’m remembering and not creating the future

How to?

Is it my fault for not knowing how to make it open in my vision?

If the future would open

I want to finally find home

Sorry Sol

Coming to you is coming home

But I can’t follow you to stay there