Elucidating Questions

I just learned the meaning of Welsh

I’ll be a foreigner

Aren’t I though?

Stuck in lands that speak to me but aren’t mine to call home

Nowhere to call home

Always on the outside

Even in my family I’m on the outside

Foreign

And isn’t the language I speak different?

Doesn’t it diverge from conventional uses and dialects?

It lit something in my blood

Foreigner

Bite the word

Crush it in my teeth

Screaming for somewhere to call home

All along home has been somewhere I will never see

A promise

Only the promise of continued loss

Just take it, they say

Fall a little further

Don’t I feel like a foreigner?

Yeah I am Welsh, no kidding

What am I?

Where do the trails of the past lead?

Names I’ll never know

Names are

Names aren’t something other people give us

I can’t make it

It is that hard

Goodness you’re being apt again

Why does everything sound so easy to you?

If society didn’t take from me I wouldn’t be wanting more

I do see

It’s unstoppable

I haven’t a hall

A kin

Needs are selfish

I suppose that’s the sin

Must consume, own, etc

I remember being told not to be so selfish

Now I feel selfish for wanting a home

Somewhere for me

Served the papers at 9:30pm

Didn’t sleep until 1

Woke up from nerves at 8

Work tomorrow

Meeting my father

Didn’t know I’d be working a 6 hour shift afterwards when I made the date but whatever

I don’t know how that’s going to go

Stress never ends does it?

Conflict never ends

It’s unfair

Why is it unfair?

Why is it always stacked against us?

Making me fight

For a place to be

Are you going to let me live through this I wonder?

I want to run away

I really don’t have anything left in me

That last spurt of hope was like it dying inside me

Maybe it bled out

Always the foreign never the known

Fascinating only to those who want to consume me

I don’t know what the plan is, again

Terrifying

Uprooted

What is it for?

Why does my racist label fit me?