Elucidating Questions

This is probably going to be short, I have a headache, but I just wanted to say thank you.

To all you people who still read this or have joined in to read

I recieved my first tip on ko-fi yesterday from some lovely human who no doubt just wanted to brighten my day a bit

And I was in it yesterday

Petulant and not functioning

I use this site as a place to put my terrible thoughts

The ones that are caused by the culmination of all my life

Where I go in my worst moments

Because people should know what suffering looks like

And I say that not in that I want to be on display

But that someone has to write from the poverty point of view

The I can’t afford to publish my own book point of view

Afford the money nor the energy

People need to see the disabled point of view

And, yeah, I’m not myself when I’m suffering

No kidding

But y’all still here and I appreciate that

I see some names that have stuck around over the years and I appreciate you

I’m probably not going to be myself much over the next few months

I don’t know how I can be, facing the end of an actual era of my life

Again

For the worse

Again

I don’t know

I don’t feel like me at all right now

I feel locked behind doors of panic and fear

I may drop off the radar at some point

But I’m trying my best

I’m failing, but I’m trying my best.

Thanks for hanging around.

Thanks S, you allowed me to find a bit of light yesterday that got me out of bed and eating dinner, rather anything at all.

Forever appreciated