Elucidating Questions

Fucking condescending emojis

That actually mean Please shut up

And not what they actually mean

I don’t want to deal with you please go away – emoji

Just suffer in silence no one wants to hear about it

No one cares if I’ve been crying for two days straight

Or that I’m suffering

Or that I really want to take every pill in my house so I can just escape the fucking silence

As long as I’m suffering and silent everyone is happy

So often I feel like that wretch in Omalas who had to suffer so everyone else could enjoy life

They don’t care

I say I’m suffering they say “oh I’m sorry”

Hug emoji

It’s nothing

It’s empty words that won’t change my situation

Just ugly little words that don’t mean anything

I’m waiting for the drugs to kick in so I can go back to sleep

And fuck it if I need them later

No one gives a shit

It’s almost like they enjoy watching me suffer

Empty bullshit words

It’s like I’m stuck in a burning building calling for help and everyone walks past and just says “I’m so sorry” and keeps going

Nothing matters

I don’t matter

I never mattered

I want to get to enjoy today too but I can’t

So fuck it

Who the fuck cares if I don’t have pain management?

They can’t feel it

I want to die