Elucidating Questions

I have nothing

I am nothing

Everyone else lives their lives around me like I don’t really exist

It must be nice to visit friends

Some of us don’t get friends

Some of us never get friends

And I’m suffering

So I cried

Which made the pain worse

And now I’m too tired to cry anymore

Just drops pouring out

Oh look the sky is joining me

Destroyed a frozen pie because it wouldn’t open so I chucked it at the floor

If there was any question who’s holding the reigns right now the throwing definitely answered it

Fucking shit piece of sad frozen crap that makes me want to cry more

I was eating food

Like real food

Vegetables for the first time in over a decade

Like real vegetables not those shit boiled to fuck freeze dried is there even nutrients in this tasteless tiny blocks of fucking is it even a vegetable anymore

Have no weed so I’m experiencing my pain as a normal person and not as a drugged to not care about it person

And my mum oh I’m so sorry honey I love you

Yeah enjoy your friends

I’ll be here alone like I always am like you never were but you like to pretend you have any idea what being entirely alone for almost a decade feels like

Yeah, I’m sorry too

Sorry that taking an entire bottle of Tylenol when I was 15 didn’t work

It’s punishment for daring to enjoy myself for a bit

And everyone agrees

I hope I die

I just want to stop existing

I’m afraid of dying, but

This isn’t worth it

None of it is

My life is over in four months anyways

I don’t want to exist if I have to live like this again

Eating one bowl of cereal and one single chicken pot pie a day yet magically still being over 200 pounds

I don’t know why I’m even here?

No one wants me and if they do they want me to be fine and silent and never tell them I have any problems

They don’t want to spend time with me, or even see me in person

Just want me to exist simultaneously to them

Fuck this fucking writer it’s shit and I hate it and I’m f