Elucidating Questions

All the things I want to say to this woman

And can’t?

All this 邪魔 she’s put into my life?

Just like that, my perfect job was the worst job I’ve had.

Actually picking on a disabled person to the point of taking money away from them

What horrors is she going to put me though?

That sentence felt weird

Anyways

I’m stuck

Unless I miraculously suddenly get a thousand readers and they all want to support me financially (haha as if) I’m now in worse shape than I was before

I can’t say hey I spent this huge amount of money because I’m terrible with it, chronically bored, and now I need more

Me?

Why are we like this?

We can say we made it farther

But it’s not like I’m getting an inheritance every few months

That’s not happening again

Don’t even want it to happen

I’d rather my Uncle was still alive

But what now?

It’s nice to enjoy things

People will blame me, but I can’t blame me

It felt so good to just be able to do what I wanted to do

I needed that break

My heart and soul needed that break

I think all people should just be able to exist like that

Moderate comfort

And I wasn’t making any worthwhile wages

One of my cheques was $90

And so it covered things that was supposed to pay for too

It made me realise that even my dream of having $3000 a month was under the amount I’d actually need

To do anything other than exist at home

Which is disheartening

Some people like to collect things

Unfortunately the collection world is expensive as fuck

I got to play collector for a few months

That was fun

And it happened at the right moment

I was losing my damn mind

With the list of things I couldn’t afford

Money punishes the poor for daring to want

While the rich sit off Turkey in their mega yacht giving speeches to undermine the rights of other human beings

It’s just evil

And this woman I’m dealing with at work?

She’s itching to become one of them

She’s desperate to be the one abusing other people

Just a monster

Just another monster human I have to deal with

I just have to make an effort to show up for my shifts

Just

I definitely haven’t made an effort, waking up to go every time and calling in with the proper amount of time and giving up my ability to get paid for the day because of it

The stress I’ve experienced cancelling Handydart

I definitely just didn’t want to go and so I called in

My guinea pig died a week ago, my precious first piggy

And I can’t even process it because now all I’m thinking about it how I have this list of things I want to say to this black hole that I can’t because power dynamics

It’s so gross

How is this not slavery of the mind?

Attempting to control how your employees are allowed to speak

And all I want to say to her is that I hate her

For cutting my hours and implying I’d get them back if I paid for a form to be filled out

For then going on a fancy rant about the business and how important the business is

Just to say you’re not giving me my hours back

And adding to it that you can no longer give me set shifts because some mythical “system” does the schedule when I’ve had set shifts since April

Oh and fuck you too by the way

Telling a chronically ill person to “just make an effort” to show up to shifts

After you screwed up their life and subsequently their health

Causing them to miss the shifts

But normies don’t fucking realise that health is attached to stress and that when you have a disease like this stress absolutely destroys you

Nope, I’m sure someone will think I’m making excuses

Fuck you too

I’m so sick of people bullying me when I try to take care of my health

Would you tell a person with cancer to just make an effort?

I’m not dying, but I am sick all the time to some degree

I don’t know what not feeling like you’re sick feels like

I have no control over when it’s worse

Or better

Do you think I’m just like

I don’t feel like feeling well today

In fact I feel like sleeping for the entire day?

If there are people that actually do that?

I hope they enjoy it

I don’t enjoy the days I call in sick

Or the days I’m not working but still feel sick

It doesn’t turn on just for you

You’re not special

Make an effort

Why don’t you make an effort to care for your employees?

I know you loathe them

How dare they take profit from your precious business?

You are a flea in comparison to your predecessor

She didn’t like me much, I don’t think

But she was kind and genuinely cared about her employee’s needs

And recognised that on the list of names in our company hers was just as close to the bottom as mine

You’re a leech

You’re a mosquito

You suck the life from your employees and feed it to your corporate leaders

You’ll never be one of them lady

You can pretend all you like, but I know

You’re going to suck that dick all your life just like all the others like you

You poor pretentious pawn