Elucidating Questions

I need to remember to do things for me in the morning the day before

Morning me is incapable of doing anything but routine.

Keep forgetting my headphones

Another day of work

Simultaneously Thanksgiving

Can’t do Thanksgiving

I’m thankful I had a few months of reprieve from a worse hell than this

But I don’t really know how to be thankful when the end is staring me in the face

And there are so many people with nothing

It feels cruel to think oh I’m so thankful for this that other people don’t have

Like I can’t be grateful without everyone having their needs met

Because otherwise I’m rubbing it in their faces

People, my aunt, have told me I need to be grateful for what I have in my country

Despite great inequality and disabled people being funneled towards MAID

They want to add or added people who want to commit suicide

See, we can’t afford proper mental healthcare

Or a world that doesn’t cause mental health problems

But if you want to die, we pay doctors to help!

It feels so fucked up, and yet, no one is stopping it

The trees have turned, most of them

Fall and the harvest and all that

I’m already saying my thanks for the Fall veggies I’ve been eating

Me, eating vegetables!

Sorry that just stopped happening about 10 years ago now

Don’t know if I’ll be able to afford it this week, my meals

I suck at preparing for my own future

The present and the past are sort of where I live.

Just really really need someone who can help me figure out living I guess

I’ll never know though

I’ve been floundering for a while