Elucidating Questions

Everyone just seems to be having aggravating conversations

Woman walks past me and announces something about libtards into her phone

Some guy walked past me muttering about commies

Then I walked past a dude going on about how some group (probably young people, that was the vibe) is lazy and entitled

How do people let this stuff consume them?

This anger is living, rent free, between your ears

Just chill??

Everyone has this vibe like there’s an enemy out there

I’m very much a walking target for transphobic interactions

Even I don’t think there’s some Boogeyman evil entity I’m supposed to be defending myself against

Individuals are a problem

But if you’re obsessed with some negativity

Aren’t you just inviting negativity to pervade?

I get that brains like patterns and neurotypical people don’t seem to notice when they’re obsessed with a pattern, only when neurodivergent people are

But everyone needs to just not be so damn negative all the time

Coming from me

I’m very much of the opinion that people being harder to deal with is because so many people are pretending to fight an enemy

Anyone should be able to recognise that constantly being in a battle is hard on the central nervous system, yeah?

Like I’m always in a battle with my body, that’s not a choice

But y’all walking down the street almost hoping that guy walking towards you is going to push his luck

Like that woman today

Who was seemingly having a regular conversation before she saw me and suddenly started raving about libtards

Was I supposed to start an argument with her?

What was she expecting me to do?

By the way, anyone who uses any form of the R word is a worse person than the person being addressed by the R word.

By default

No ifs, ands, or buts.

I know I’m defensive

Often waiting for something to go wrong

I have severe anxiety, however, and manage that by doing things to prepare myself and self talk that sounds very much like trying to calm down a scared toddler

And I doubt these people are doing that

Hey brother, in the wild

What’s up?

Suddenly change the topic?

I sink into familiar sounds so quickly

What was that?

A quarter of a bar?

I knew it though

Your distinctive sound

I should tell people to talk to their inner self like scared toddlers, you think?

I mean, yeah

We’re all just a toddler with life experience

And brain development

Somewhere in you is a child who needs to be reassured just as you did when you were that child

People who say they don’t have an inner child don’t lack one, they have locked them away

One thing every adult human has in common is we were all children

That voice, that you, who had things happen they didn’t understand, had things said to them that haunt you still,

They didn’t disappear just because you kept going

Those memories that pop up just as you go to bed aren’t your brain trying to embarrass you years later

They’re that little child at bedtime asking questions about things they’re not sure of

Was this memory embarrassing? They ask

You can answer yes, and have that be it

Or you can answer, yes, but it didn’t really matter then, and it doesn’t really matter now. Go to bed.

Denial doesn’t win anyone any points either

Just, address them

Be to your child self the adult that wasn’t there growing up

Every child has that vision of the ideal adult

Ideal parent

Be them, for yourself

Stop that kid from getting freaked out by all the bad guys out in the world by telling them they’re going to be okay

Just do it