Elucidating Questions

My life is boring right now

Devices, devices

I’m hoarding devices

And they beep and sing

And are the only one who talked to me today

Throw back

A friend who faded away really liked this band

Off into her own world

Something about me doesn’t stick to people

Who was I going to talk to today anyways?

I wish I was free

Free to meet someone who cares

But it’s so far away

Every day I move through this space much the same

How to be known?

I wish I could see

Ah but it’s pointless

And disruptive

How I wish I could take hold of his heart

But it’s far too late

It’s over

I loved him and he was supposed to notice me

Far too late for being noticed

Sheesh I’ll wrap myself around any sound these days

It’s the fault of the love

So it’s not my fault, right?

How it wanders

I wish I could sing this to someone

But of course that someone would have to speak Japanese

All along has my place somehow been somewhere I’ll never fit?

The want to go home

Satoko she said

Unmistakably, you were born here in a past life

The way my soul relaxed as I looked over Tokyo

My little chunk of it on the Shinkansen

I should have taken the money and ran, eh?

Sorry Tomorrowland

I’m stuck here

At the second to last end of the day

After all

I’d get there

And then what?

See, he’s nothing without you, and I’m just nothing

Being content with having faded away

Oh you don’t know what you’re wishing for

Once upon a time

Being gone

While still being right here

I essentially don’t exist

My connections to nothing

They’ll leave me here to myself for days

Just suffering alone

How are you?

She asks after several days

There’s a part of me that wants to ask

How do you think?

Even if my health was being fine, I’d be here alone, yeah?

For hours and days and months?

Did you know you’re Taylor Swift?

God your frenetic genre skipping

Well

It was hope I’m sure

That dastardly fellow

Hope is a fucking four letter word, contextual lyrics

Are you sure I’m not crazy? Because this ability to carry a conversation with the music which just happens to be adding to the conversation

Whatever

Stop trying to set the mood

There is no mood

I’m uncomfortable

And lost

Not exactly emotions

Hmm

Apparently struggling is reserved for teenagers

Intrusive thoughts

Now if there’s someone I do want to see

They’re who I think you are, I think

Still no name

Sorry I got stuck on the face inside

But I wish I knew the meaning of dreams

The music is not cooperating

If I had no chains

I’d be cheering you on

If I felt like there was anything left in me

Maybe I’d break them

But I’m a chain

Always holding people down

I wish I could give people wings to fly with

My eye twitch is back

Stress, usually

Can you imagine?

Being alone is stressful

The stress of not knowing when it will end this time

Not knowing if it will end

I don’t know

I don’t think I have a nice closure tonight

I’m just alone and sick of it

I’m just so lonely my brain makes up friends in my dreams

It began long ago

And there’s no end in sight