Elucidating Questions

If this is the ending where my ancient fear is stamped out

I’d have to stop living that fear, yeah?

Oh great the jackhammer is back

It’s funny how silence creeps in

And you don’t even realise until the noise that stopped comes back

I was terrified of ending up alone

Because that’s what my dad said would happened

And I’d been lonely all my life, hiding myself away in self defence

Never feeling like anyone knew me

And then I finally put myself on the outside

There’s no one left to know

God that jackhammer

I’ve had this coming and going headache

And this is not helping

It’s not

Consumed by the pounding that is reverberating in my skull

Fuck

Sometimes I get aphasia moments

I can’t remember a word and then a swear word comes out instead

That wasn’t one of those moments

But I always wonder whether I’m swearing because I can’t remember the word

Or if that’s the word my brain gave me

I can’t write like this

All I hear is metal and rumbling and rattling and pressure

I hope it breaks

I don’t care if it’s expensive

Loud construction is just obnoxious and it’s been constant for like a year now people have just been making loud noises around here

Wow it’s not even a jackhammer

It’s a fucking construction vehicle with a jackhammer attached

Apparently my neighbour has decided to tear up his entire driveway

What a self centered prick

This is going to take hours

Fuck

My head hurts

This is ridiculous