Elucidating Questions

You did come in like a wrecking ball

And now my heart hurts

Thought it was someone else

Why do you do this?

Happenstance?

I think I had one stray thought

But that was it

And then you smashed into me with emotion

My whole chest aches

Heartache is so strange

I wanted to yearn

“That’s so funny”

Happenstance

Crashed right into me

You won’t trick me

I don’t know why you try to trick me

I won’t want

You can’t make me

Even if the answer is still the same

He won the game

It’s a different place now

Wish I’d brought my headphones after all

Listening to people gleefully happening to bump into each other

辛い

No casually bumping today

Who knows if that scoff was aimed at me

Waiting for the day someone claims I don’t need my walker

The wolf’s truck (not his truck but the same one he used to drive that always makes me miss him)

Ludeness alert

I found a toy that’s way better than a human so

I honestly don’t really miss him that much anymore

He used his penis well

That’s about as far as his redeeming qualities went

But there’s another random happenstance

Why are you testing me?

I hope everyone gets home safely today

Don’t know why but that’s there

Just saw some kids driving

Personal opinion? Anyone under 19 should not be driving

I know adults wanted to be lazy and hated driving their kids everywhere

But that’s a whole child behind the wheel of a dangerous weapon

Ugh I just want to go home and be over this day

Working is hard

I get so tired

A conversation I don’t want to have

Handydart showed up

All my nails are falling off

I’m so tired

I just don’t have the energy for being friendly to strangers after work

I just want to sit quietly

I just want to enjoy my solitude for the moment I can

Before it chokes me alive again

Oh good now they’re listening to music on their phone on the bus

Why this?

Why?

It’s like the world is currently trying to annoy me

Get some reaction

I just want peace, for a moment

I’m so hungry

I woke up hungry and then drank a protein shake instead

They’re labeled “not meant to be a meal replacement”

Too bad

But now I’m very hungry

Existing in two seperate worlds

Unaware of eachother

I wish the thing beyond my consciousness in the dark was him

Because then it wouldn’t be a completely made up something

Then I wouldn’t have to wonder why

Such a long way away from what I thought

It was heartening to see the amount of orange shirts today

I have to remember this year

It’s important to me but I suck at remembering about the shirt

Couldn’t tell you why

Buy one now would probably be the best way to solve that

But I can’t commit to buying one because every time I go to buy one I start wondering if it’s actually an indigenous run business

Freaking out about that aspect of it

I’m always like okay I’ll buy one from a local person

Then it never happens

My brain

Ugh

I don’t know why we drove right near my house and then pulled some place else

Now we’re heading out to Sooke apparently

I would like to go to sleep

I didn’t even put my eyes in this morning

I noticed halfway through my first hour of work

My eyes feel naked

I wish to sleep

Just a bit further and then I’ll be home