Elucidating Questions

You know what broke my heart?

Last night I over heard my landlord and his kid

His kid goes “will you tuck me in?”

His dad goes

No, do it yourself

That broke me a bit

Do parents not see themselves as children when they’re parenting?

There will come a day you never tuck him in again

Do they not realise this?

And then, just now, he was having some issues with the shower and he called for his dad

Was calling and calling until he was crying “dad, where are you?”

And his dad was sat in the livingroom ignoring him

I’m downstairs, I can’t do anything

Different suite

Sometimes I over hear how his dad talks to him

And then his dad wonders “where his attitude comes from”

What a mystery

How you talk to your kids matters folks

It sets the tone for how they speak and interact with the world

It hurts me to never have the chance to show the love I have for kids

Having to witness how adults treat them

That is not a subservient creature, it’s a fucking whole damn human

Do they not remember how aware they were as kids?

Do they not remember how everything affected them because everything was new?

I never experienced some enlightening of consciousness

I was always a whole person

I was just a young, inexperienced, new person

That’s a human being you’re listening to cry for his dad unaffected

This poor kid

He’s so easily affected by things

I’m pretty sure he’s neurodivergent

He was apparently tested and the doctor thought it was nothing

I’d like to speak to that doctor

All these kids who I’ve loved so much

Too far away for me to have any effect

And then people call me a groomer and it hurts

Because I’d die before doing what was done to me

Like if someone put me under a gun and said I’ll shoot you or do it

I’d take the bullet

But what do you even say to parents?

Excuse me can you please stop bullying your child?

That baby I held in my arms, screaming because he was hungry and his mother wasn’t making enough milk and when I suggested formula, before we knew that fact, just trying to come up with answers, she shot daggers at me

Is now a child somewhere

So many babies who I held and loved

Who grew up to be strangers

It’s just hard to watch

It’s always just for a moment

And I can’t have a kid

Let alone as a single parent

Just pregnancy would probably kill me at this point

And I don’t regret not having kids because I was never in a position to do so

I just want to be part of a community where everyone raises the kids

And then I’d be that weird Nauncle

That just loved them all so much

What?

I just hate seeing kids struggling

And I double hate it when they’re struggling because their parents are colossal bullies

I want to protect kids

I want kids to be able to be free of the horrors of this world for as long as possible