Elucidating Questions

眠いニャー

I’ve been listening to Nyath for too long

The meowing is entering my Japanese

And then my headphones conne-nya

They do

It’s funny

I was just agonising over how it would feel to die

Just something that I do

Because my mind likes to remind me at random

You’re gonna die

I’m like yup, that’s terrifying let’s think about it for a bit

The prospect of me not existing

What that would feel like

Terrifying

Thanks brain

While interacting with me please remember that I am terrified of most people

I feel like every interaction is a test I’m going to fail

If I couldn’t put anything into words

I definitely thought about it

Why is the Cosmic DJ angsty tonight?

I used to think all sorts of things

But it’s just some being

Just like all the rest

A rather keen individual

If I say give me power

What is your response?

Hah

A joke and then the punch

Oh Outlaw Star I forgot you earlier

You poor baby

This song has been with me

Since then

Just love, just dreams, just you

And the meaning opened up to me

Every time it came back around I understood more

Yes

Power indeed

I forget that

That knowing Japanese gives me a type of power

Knowing any language does

Opens up a world to you, one you would never interact with otherwise

The intricacies of language and culture intertwined

It is a precious thing

I forget that

That my stubbornly playing Japanese games and looking up the kanji is just me studying more

Omg we’re back to the angst

DJ, baby, who hurt you?

Who, you?

Ugh

Hope to die indeed

As if

Uno reverse

I’m living for absolutely no reason

But it’s working

I think

何と無くニャー

No, it feels silly coming from me

He’ll purr for you though

Someone has to know the magic words to calm him

Ah well

It felt like time was running out 7 years ago

Now it feels like it could go on forever

If not for my mind reminding me several times on the daily

Memento Mori

Thanks Pharos

Sometimes I think the best day of my life already happened

So it’s already over

It’s over, right?

Don’t listen to it

How it yearns

Fool

Ever your fool

You’re the one that drew the card

Right?

Yes it seems to find me

Am I?

Aren’t I?

The music is failing me

Can’t let it go

You don’t understand what control this is taking

Of course

Not that it would matter, but I have to keep myself kept

It was such a profound break that I can’t touch the remains

But how could I ever hate them?

Saw a meme today where someone rejected hated the people who found love without him

That couldn’t be me

It would never be me

だって愛してるモン

It felt like it was being suggested to me

This point of view

And I rejected it

Rejected that thought pattern

Woe as I may be

Crushed

The goal was not my happiness

I feel words on my lips

How they’d pour if I let them

Happiness is something I’d rather see on every face before my own

So a dream will never be realised

I can’t give it anymore one more chances

I would give it though

In exchange for nothing

To everyone