Elucidating Questions

I feel awful today

Hard to tell if I drank too much last night or if it’s the weather

Maybe both

I might as well have worked yesterday, feeling like this

Days like this are harder

I’m convinced I’d be less miserable if someone was with me

But people don’t seem to get my disease

They disappear

Eventually I’m forgotten again

I feel unsettled and trapped

And I’m exhausted

I could fall asleep at any moment

I slept through half they day

I hate wasting daylight

Especially when the Sun is about to become scarce

Not that it’s sunny today

But I saw the Sun earlier

Came out in a moment that felt just for me

Though I never know who else’s world lit up at the exact right moment

I don’t mind sharing

I differ on that, from a lot of people

The Sun doesn’t have to be just for me

My god, but not mine

I do want to give love to this world

But when I’m feeling like this I want to hide with someone I trust

Weathering these storms alone takes a toll

I resent every day I have cried for a companion for days like today, but it never happened

I can hear an angry squirrel

I wish I could be angry on days like today

Angry that, despite everything trying to make me believe otherwise, I did not get what I need most of all

And that it’s another day that will disappear

Poof

Gone

Maybe I took on too much

From that conversation yesterday

Why not all three?

The trifecta of weather, alcohol, and empathy

Or whatever it is because people say that people who claim to take on the energy of others are lying

I don’t know what you’d call what I do then

Recover, you say

Rest

You know I’m shit at both

I don’t sit still

Look forward to tomorrow

I made it again

Another check point I created

I feel awful, but I succeeded in living again

No one gets how I struggle

But it’s okay

One, big, exhausted, defeated, hooray!

It’s just such an uphill battle, every step

And I feel like I’m falling leagues behind everyone else

Still, your love is there without fail

Maybe I can be content with it today

I’m so exhausted

I can’t even expend the energy to become upset about being alone

You keep implying it’s just the two of us

Fate?

If we’re all that’s left some day

I somehow figure out how to surpass Time

I’d probably cry, just like now, when it’s just you and me

Not tears

But my heart has been

The geese are joining in the flocking

Casual screaming

Yeah, me too

Except I’m screaming into the depths of time

And no one can hear me there