Elucidating Questions

3355

I don’t want to have to chase someone

I don’t want to be who they settled for when they couldn’t have their number one

I want someone to pick me out of a crowd and go

It’s you

I want to be special to someone

But I don’t feel particularly special

I know I’m worthy of love

Or at least I’m telling myself that right now

But I don’t know if I’m worthy of the love I imagine in my fantasies

In my day dreams

Or the kind I imagined for myself in my psychosis

Something though

Cracks like thunder, but who knows what, echo out into the night

Just something

Because here I am again

It’s dark at 8 because the Sun is going away again and I’m alone

The day closes so quickly

And then quicker

How I dread those long night hours

In that place only I know

The place where I am

I want to share it with someone

I don’t want to look up at the sky alone anymore