Elucidating Questions

You

Which you?

The you who’s absent right now

The you who I call in the night

The emptiness of my bed

You’d think someone could feel me

It’s all just me

Sentenced to myself

The worst

The absolute worst

And I’ve lost track of the Moon

It’s hard being no one to anyone

Just staring in the mirror

Me and me

And fuck I’m sick of you

Me

Constantly caught up in moments from some other time

Trying to find the future in the past

Trauma

And anxiety

No, you see, we’re master pattern detectors

Mine’s broken

They’re everywhere

They’re nowhere

Don’t ask about my heart you’ll wake up the Cat

Who is the dog

How did that happen?

I’ll just 拾うan entire personality

God, and I’m stuck in here with this thing?

Not the Cat, my brain

Disappear

Blue light you

Looking at you guys painful

Who’s an assault on whose eyes now?

Disappear

Like all these fairytales of the past

Clinging

I loved him again immediately

Wait who preceded who?

Oh my god Time fuck you and the laughter

Let me sink into my spirits

It’s safe here

You were but a tether

To a planet

No a society I wanted to care for

Oh I see

No

I said, disappear

It wasn’t a suggestion

Think of and receive か

言葉も考えも

聞こえるか宇宙？

It’s so sad

You pitiful thing in the dark

Thinking you found the rope

The thread

It’s okay

I’m here, somehow

Me from the past didn’t know what I was missing

Not knowing Japanese

I’ll think of the courage in me as a flame, and won’t run away anymore

Two nights in a row

It’s a lonely feeling

Thinking of the courage as within me

Means I found it on my own

Despite of, in spite of, everyone

Nothing did change

I’ve been here before but in many different shapes

The gradual shaping

You’d imagine nothing changed

It’s not an action

This casting out

Since the day you disappeared

I’ve been on a journey to find you

There still has to be a you

You see

It’s lonely

Summer is fading

No you’re not allowed to do that anymore

Whatever you are in the dark

I don’t trust you anymore

I’ve come this far alone

I don’t need anyone

欲しい

くれ？

I guess I’ve gone back to breathing oxygen

Not like I had a choice

But there’s this grudge growing

All of them having so much fun together

When I sit and stare up at the sky and recognise how alone I am

I wonder why they left me