Elucidating Questions

My chair feels like it’s stable but upon coming outside just now I saw that it’s just balancing over a hole in the yard

Interesting how appearances can be deceiving

That doesn’t apply this time though

What if, what if

What if everything is fine?

Always posing these possibilities to me

As if imagining them carries any weight

3333 eh?

Angel number

What are the angel voices trying to tell me?

Why does it always go against what reality is showing me?

My heart will never give up

It doesn’t care about society’s rules

But it does care about him

I’m just a stress

Isn’t it love that makes us blind?

Just because I want to believe it

Doesn’t make it true

And if I fall into the trap of believing again

I’m no better than whatever I did

How I want to believe

But believing would be disrespectful

In the end I’m just an insane poet

It’s hard to believe it’s all for nothing

3333

Maybe a warning call for the Earth

If I had the power to save her, and everyone on her

I would

A teeny tiny part of me still thinks they’re all redeemable

Somehow

So tiny

So powerless

Sometimes redemption is not mine to decide

Besides my own

Am I redeemable?

Worst person on the planet was a hyperbole, yeah?

I’m worthy of some love

I couldn’t tell you how much without understating it

I always try to give myself less

I took less food at dinner when there wasn’t enough for everyone

Spent so long hating myself and thinking I deserved nothing

Worst person on the planet

Or was it Universe?

I’m not that

At least

I deserve as much love as anyone

I don’t know what I did to cause this life

But whatever it was, I’m not that person

Someone who existed before me and dictated my struggles

生まれ変わって来たんじゃないか

Being reborn means the tethers of the past still hold you

But you are unaware of them

What did I want to become?

How can I not f feel like I’m falling short?

Destiny terrifies me

That this was a path prewritten

長いなー

How is life both so long and so short?

I’ve wasted it pouring ink

Will there ever be a place for me?

Beside someone who stays?