Elucidating Questions

Are you somewhere out there?

Clouds blocking out the stars

I can’t see out into the emptiness

If I look to you now

What am I but a problem?

Human

To be human

It’s just kind of gross

Being a fleshy thing

There’s always a you in songs

And being living is gross

But can’t I be gross with someone?

Can’t there be a you that I’m just a disgusting human with?

The part of me that hurts when love stories happen

Can’t it be erased?

What a strange lesson

Don’t let your heart win

These disgusting needs that are completely human

It hurts from inside

Longs to find someone to trust

I wanted to trust

Silly things indeed

You know I can’t let go

Clinging to and running from the past

You’d think I like pain

A heart running full tilt into anything that will get it broken

I want to make it through this

But I can hear my heart beating

Thrashing

How dare you breathe life into me?

And now my heart is the drums

Can’t let anything go

Why am I still singing it back?

Foolish

Yes, dreams

Dreams where I go to live

What about them?

What are you trying to tell me?

Something

Bits and pieces

The maddening bits and pieces

Right where he wants

邪魔しちゃダメ

Yet you pluck the strings of the lyre

Sola

ね？

消えても構わないで

And my weak heart

I’m so lost in this space

I can’t stop moving

If I stopped now

And left all the ink to seep into the threads of the web

I have to

This is all I have

The heart wants

It reaches

Yearning

離せって言っても

離せ

Are my dreams going to be tumbling images of him again?

Do I have to hurt to feel better?

Time, Time

Running while laughing

I want to grab you and stop you

Can’t you wait for a moment?

All the gods’ children

You never let me catch my breath

Never telling me where we’re headed

Are you laughing at my speed again?

The words always match up

Now it’s listen to it

Listen to it, but don’t let it win

Be honest?

Honestly

I don’t know why I’m trapped by someone who doesn’t even see me

I do want to run away

Can’t I dream of you instead?

The speed of The Messenger

You know, if you’d just speak straight I wouldn’t always be so damn confused

Just keep breathing

In my castle of devices

I did imagine

Any number of rescuers

My diseases the dragon

But that was back then

Better never to picture things

Lest the reality distort them

My quiet wishes

They just fall all around like stars from the sky

Ah

I’m being told to go the fuck to bed

Another night

Another meeting with the something

How I wonder what you are

How I wonder what that makes me