Elucidating Questions

It’s the way the dog perks up when I come out

No one’s ever excited to see me

I feel unimportant

To anyone

But this dog that isn’t even mine is happy to see me

Why can’t humans do that?

Light up a little bit when they see me

I don’t think wanting to feel important is limited to me

And I don’t want the world to revolve around me

I’m not expecting people who don’t know me to be excited to see me

I just want people in my life to be

I don’t see my mum for months and she’s like hi hunny

Like we see eachother every day

I want to feel like my presence has meaning

Like it’s not just guaranteed

Like I’m not

I feel like furniture

Like everyone is so used to me that I’m barely even noticed

How does it feel to be seen?

How does it feel when everything finally fits into place?

When is that ever going to happen for me?

I’m just a spirit held together by devices

And fleeting thoughts that leave so fast I’m left breathless

What was I doing

Doubt is all I am

Probably all I’ll ever be

To be seen

And I truly believed that moment would be

When you met me

Left with it

The doubt

There’s nothing left here’s something to hold on to

It’s doubt

I mean

At least the dog gets excited

I’m not completely unworthy of it

I wonder where I was going to be

Why am I in the Universe where this happens?

Why can’t I even remember the mistake I made?