Elucidating Questions

I have to apologise

Let me focus on you for a moment

It’s hard to focus on such a blurry thing

Someone that has changed shape in my mind

I don’t even know if you are still the same you

If you bothered to live until you met me

I guess I’m just as bad at being in your life

And life is difficult

And the only one for me would have to feel things

Not as strongly as me, I feel way too hard

But enough that my feeling doesn’t scare them

Groomed to, by society, I always picture a man

But now

Years later

I probably couldn’t handle another one

Damaged and intent on making everyone else around them as damaged as they are

The men that come to me

As time went on

And I saw all the faces that weren’t meant for me

Your image has become more and more warped

Can’t have a clear image when that clear image is wrong

Imagine, I’m actually paired with the Universe

This ring isn’t just a promise to them that was made by a scared child in an unfamiliar place searching for familiarity

I make things

But I can’t make that

Broken once

Tarnished

A promise of duality that no one recognises.

Would you recognise me?

All the little clues I leave for everyone that I’m not what I look like but no one ever notices?

I always think in ones

Even though my nature is definitely poly

A little bit of love sprinkles here and there

I want to see you

I know I want to see you because I want to see someone that sees me

Anyone

Who doesn’t immediately try to get something from me

Someone who offers me something too

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Every conversation an exchange

You continually bring me people who demand of me

Is it worth it?

What do you get out of it?

It would be so much easier to envision someone if I knew

They were real

The focus was supposed to be you

But then it wasn’t you

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