Elucidating Questions

Back into retail hell tomorrow

Whether my body wants to or not

Not that I really need to go to work tomorrow

I so badly want to just quit

But I have to do my best

There’s no guarantee that I’d find something else before I’m back to having nothing

Two days

So, I will give you that staying alive for it was worth it

Though not in the way I was thinking

I deserve this little chunk of time I’ve bought

I do

So hard to believe in something so unproven

Proof, prove, proven

What a stupidly spelt word

Proh-v

Blasted English

I feel well separated from him right now

Well that’s an interesting observation

I still don’t know the why behind the lot of it though

I don’t want to be alone

It would be nice to not be

It makes me wonder why I’m here

It’s so hard for me to do things that only benefit me

I mean, half the time, living does not benefit me

I want to sing

I want someone to sing to

With, if they should so choose

I don’t know how to find what I seek

I’m too afraid of what might happen if I’m behind closed doors with no one around to hear me scream again

I almost want to live too much to let myself love again

Self preservation

I’m not prepared for any of the trauma any relationship threatens to deal out if I misstep

Gonna go stare at Saturn because even the possible god of death and Time is less scary than a human

How I don’t want to be alone

How anything else terrifie