Elucidating Questions

I socialised

With people

Actual people

Not text on a screen

Real

I could read their reactions to my subjects and change the topic depending

And I’m not the best at reading reactions

I’m not

But I could try

I couldn’t figure out when to talk

That’s something that has become much worse in my isolation

I interrupt people accidentally

Infer the end of their sentence for them

It’s not on purpose

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I have to do my best to try to solve these problems

But I don’t have any practice

And then I was on the side of the street and back to once

Silly heart

Yeah we’ve fucked up

Maybe I’ve come to hate them

Overflowing with love

It’s only when I’ve been starved for attention that I lash out

In the wrong direction

There’s a squirrel above my head

And the people in this neighborhood say hello when they walk by

Am I not invisible?

Curious

Ooooh another horse

And there’s dogs everywhere

I like this place

Horses are gorgeous beasts

Loafs with necks on stilts

The ocean is right there but I can’t visit them

I think I still know how to talk

Right?

The downside of this is, of course, the withdrawal

Socialisation is a drug

And now I have to go through the process of disappearing again

The long, difficult process

The next time my brain needs someone to talk to I have to tell it there’s no one again

Another horse

I love the sound of their feet

They wanted to come visit me

Oh another!

Oh Poseidon you spoil me so

I feel well loved here

With your scent carried by the winds

There is a place here

Is this where I’m headed next?

So few of my sudden divergences into uncharted territory have no meaning

Another place I know and don’t know

I wouldn’t mind knowing it better

I almost fear going home

When I walk in

I’ll be alone again