Elucidating Questions

Let’s play a game

Am I crying because I’m drunk?

Or am I crying because I was dying for socialisation today and didn’t get any?

And now I’m being called a twat for disagreeing that some woman discovered the word demure

I want socialisation

I’m not a fucking woman

Use some other insult

I’ve never said things like that, have I?

To other people?

I don’t feel special

I haven’t felt special in decades

I feel like society’s trash

Everything is fine

It’s the alcohol

It’s the emotional tightrope I’m currently walking

Don’t know how to reconcile all my needs suddenly being met

With still feeling like a complete zero

Why are people so vicious?

I don’t feel like I deserved this reaction

I disagreed with a headline

Got told I was trying to feel special, was “flexing”, was “full of shit” and am a twat

I don’t think people understand my tone

Or what rhetorical questions are

I’m nothing compared to the people I meet online daily

Boisterous

Passionate

But I rarely say anything with the intent to hurt

That rarely is rarely ever before someone said something to hurt me first

The kicked animal bites

Wouldn’t it be nice to see a world where I have a companion?

I don’t need a saviour

I don’t need a guard

I don’t even need an advocate if you won’t spring that for me

Someone to talk to

The Owl flits into my brain for some reason

Hello, I hope you’re well

Just someone to…

Someone who I don’t feel guilty for bothering

God, there’s literally one person on the planet I don’t feel guilty for bothering and I probably should

Sorry

Why can’t things just align?

Can’t they?

That sentence doesn’t make sense not contracted

Cannot they?

If I could stand in front of him

Oh I don’t know who him is

I want to say “anyone”

Anyone ends up with me being smothered

If I’m specific that person won’t exist

I wish I could stand in front of someone who can really love me

Someone who would see me even though my outsides don’t match the inside

Why is that too much