Elucidating Questions

Don’t make me think of him that way

Even though I want it

Growing old

You never know who you wanted it with until someone you were expecting it with is gone

Can you do so gracefully?

Can I?

I’m going to cling to my firey emotions

The things in me that won’t ever grow up

You can take age without it aging you

Time goes on

But it doesn’t have to take away what you have been

Those fires that burn in youth

Who’s it going to be?

Standing on the edge and staying

No matter how I waver

If it could be

It would have been by now

It’s not going to be you

Because it never was previously

It would be nice if there was

Someone on the end of this

I don’t want to lose my mind again

That seems to be all I can maintain

But if I can continue

And just screw the pain anyways

I don’t know if I will get to grow old

But if he could

That would be a win right?

No one really needs me

But people are counting on him

If I get to see it

Great

My being screams

It doesn’t want to go that far

I know

I know it’s hell

I’m sorry

The only one who will comfort me is me

Another 30 years alone?

I’m sure it’s been done

10 years?

5?

I don’t know

It all seems to impossible from where I am

Dragging myself through this hell

I feel nothing

I am nothing

Someone find me

Someone help me save my life