Elucidating Questions

The clouds are two people kissing

No, thank you, I haven’t been specifically avoiding all romance themes because seeing two people happy together makes me jealous

And it is an ugly feeling I don’t want to feel

That twinge of

Why not me?

When literally any mention of romance just feels like it’s being shoved in my face

What even is romance?

I’ve never experienced it

Only seen it

They could be making it up for all I know

It could all be fake

Some show put on for others’ sakes

How am I to know?

I don’t want to feel bitter when I see people in love

I don’t want to feel bitter at all

In my most natural state

I am just a gentle person who this world has not been gentle with

But there’s so many layers

If loneliness

Of abandonment

I wanted him to fight

When I told him I couldn’t take it anymore

Possibly my most treasured person along side the blue light

And he just said goodbye and blocked me

Online relationships were never any good either

I miss him

That’s, what, 20 years almost

I still love that fucking dick

Still think of him and hope he’s well

I dreamed of meeting him too but that seemed much more likely and still didn’t happen

Probably for the best, little me

We really don’t want to be American

You think it then you’ll know it soon

Let go

It’s so funny

I don’t remember what’s so funny I was distracted by the landlord’s dog having a nightmare

Rescue the puppy from his dreams

I wish someone would rescue me from mine

Poor boy

Sent him out to be outside for a bit

He ran into the night so I assume he’s okay

This concern I have for everything and one but me

My heart is racing again

Maybe it’s still going from the worry from the sounds he was making

I do what I can

There’s no need for recognition

But it’s always hard when there’s none

I’m giving this man free dog sitting

And, like, obviously I’m going to do it because there’s a living being involved and said being deserves care

I just hate that I give all this me away

It’s not just this but in other ways

I go so unnoticed

And, like, what? I’m going to appreciate me?

How? Am I going to spawn a conversation with myself?

Oh maybe I’ll spawn myself people giving me a freaking break sometimes

Yeah it doesn’t work, really

I don’t know

Now it’s just cloudy

Please blow away

I hate going through the day without seeing his face