Elucidating Questions

WordPress doesn’t think I noticed when specific posts mysteriously have no views

WordPress thinks I’m stupid enough not to notice though

This world is so against helping

They’d rather watch

It’s a spectical I’m sure

It leaves me feeling uneasy

Like what could possibly be enjoyable about it?

Not that it’s many

But it’s so strange to be

In crisis

And being watched

My mind always going to all these gods and spirits

But it’s the people watching

And saying nothing

How am I supposed to feel about that?

Being consumed

Just a bit more

Every time it’s like the same thing

There’s a spring after every winter

A dawn after every night

Yet I haven’t seen the hint of either

What am I waiting for?

I just feel like the longer I’m here the better the joke when it’s nothing

I’m just winding myself up for a bigger punchline down the road

I don’t want to be the punchline in my own life for some sick author to feel gleeful over

What’s a shooting star to someone with no more wishes?

I made them all

And watched them all fall

Surely there are wishers to see them elsewhere

If I had a dollar for every shooting star I’d have enough money for my heart medication

And the thing I want

Alas we know already the tale of tomorrow

Up early to a world that hasn’t changed

To work a job that isn’t paying me enough to stay there

Lonely hours spent wasting time and vaping

Back home and we do the same until I meet myself at the pass again

Why am I doing this?

What is the point of this besides ensuring my continued suffering?

Nothing could be worth what this life has put me through this far

7 years ago you could have rescued me

I would have accepted the balance

It’s too late now

There’s nothing left to rescue