Elucidating Questions

I don’t want you to fix it

I want to be allowed to imagine myself with money to people without them thinking I want it from them

People are allowed to imagine going on vacation, or eating something delicious, or going somewhere without the other person thinking they have to provide it

Even if $200 isn’t going to show up

Even if I’m not going to have anything to keep myself entertained

Even if I spend the next week sleeping through life because it’s too much and I’m past done

Just let me imagine for a moment that things went right and something good happened and I would be content

Just imagine it

Let me pretend this life is far kinder for a moment

That one of the thousand envelopes demanding money I owe would actually be money for me

Instead

I’m probably about to be scammed

I clicked some random link on Google for “remote work”

It’s all in WhatsApp

I’m so desperate I don’t care

I’ll try anything

Oh well

Wouldn’t it be lovely if money happened?

I won’t imagine it in front of anyone anymore

I’m being ignored on two fronts because of it