Elucidating Questions

I wonder why that hawk is crying

Is it any similar reason to why I’m crying?

Is it so fed up with boredom and hunger?

How long do I have to wait for some unknown thing?

For something to do

At this point I’ve spent most of my life watching tv and playing video games

Some would say that’s great

But the games grow stale so quickly

I’ve played so many and the mechanics just get boring

I want to crochet and create and who cares if I end up with a hoard of plushies?

But yarn is so expensive

Stuffing is so expensive

Filled my hours with tamagotchi to give me a sense of maintaining something

I want to crochet until my hands hurt which is peculiarly long considering most things hurt them immediately

It’s the one thing I can do

I want to do

Something

I feel so useless

So horridly still

I yearn for anything

A new tama has arrived

Something to do for a bit

Constantly seeking something new because if I stay in one thing I may never do anything else

There’s got to be money somewhere, right?

I wish I could opt out of money

No, sorry, money goes against my spirituality

I will just be living my life

Doing all the things I want to do

I’d just go to Japan

They all think they’re so free

Just wait until they’re trapped at home

It’ll happen at some point

We all have choices

Until we don’t

I learned that

In this repeating day

2410 days ago this day started

2410 tomorrows that never amounted to much

Mum says there must be an answer and we haven’t found it yet

Don’t tell me I’m half way there

Even two thirds of the way

If you tell me that I’ll just lay down and never get up again