Elucidating Questions

It’s so jarring, being an adult

Besides life experience I don’t feel any different than I did in my late teens

But there it is

The 2000s are 20 years ago

And I just think yup I’m an adult

But it doesn’t seem to mean anything

Besides living entirely alone

Being able to do things without judgement

What is the point of the classification?

I’m no more capable

I’m only more adult because shit keeps happening to me

29 year old me didn’t need to learn what it’s like to be smothered any more than 18 year old me

The number of strange men I’ve slept near

But it was one who said he loved me

Still this strange blessedness

I’m here aren’t?

Raven

Yup I’m here

In the same place I was

But here

I would like to find my balance

I don’t need excess

Just relative comfort

15 years later

Still haven’t found one thing

I can’t believe I’ve been stuck for so long

I just need a boost

Maybe a rocket attached to my waist

How many of me will there be before one of us finds

Someone to love?

Someone I can love

Adult

Mostly solitary

Mostly drowning

Mostly crying all alone

That’s what adult means to me