Elucidating Questions

I pity my muse for being my muse

Gorgeous

Tragic

Tired

I sure hope you took a nap

But with me buzzing around

Constantly searching for something I couldn’t find in you

Something I’ve never had before

Something I wouldn’t recognise

Oh to leave this life behind

See something different

I’m so sick of change that starts out terrible

I’m already at terrible

Please stop trying to make it worse

I wish I knew why it goes to you

Is there something besides voice and eyes and face?

Searching for substance

Somewhere

Mostly where I’ve been

Not searching

Maybe waiting is the better word

How do you find something you’ve never seen before?

How do I know who to trust?

Fuck up once, fine, whatever

So many times

I’d feel sorry for you but you seem content to let me spin in the dark

So maybe I should be content with not quite disappearing

Even in the dark it’s still there

A memory?

All I am is what people remember about me

Nothing more

Who I am is so chaotic

I’m so chaotic

I don’t believe you could come up with someone who can contend with me

I’ll just be here

Here I am

Sorry you inadvertently contributed to this mess