Elucidating Questions

I don’t want to do this anymore

Feeding myself to maintain this existence

Being awake to see in realtime how alone and unwanted I am

I want to exist somewhere else

And if you won’t give me that

Give me enough drugs so I can fry my brain beyond comprehension

I don’t even want anything to do with the reason this whole thing is here anymore

I don’t really want him

I don’t even know if I like him anymore

I don’t want to sit here pining over some unattainable idea

I don’t want to live this life anymore

I don’t want to put effort into living it

I don’t want to go to work to make the measly pennies I do

Just to not make enough

Just to have to beg for it from someone else

Here mum have all the power over me and you can just watch while I suffer and send me hug emojis

Yeah that’s what I wanted my life to be like

Someone tell me what’s the point?

Every tomorrow is the same

I’m still here

Still stuck, unmoving, while everyone else is gone so far ahead

Just give me drugs

Just let me have enough money and a way to get drugs

I’ll send myself to oblivion so I never have to think about this hellscape again

Oh no your sister died from drugs

Yeah it should have been me

It should have been me

I don’t want to prolong this life anymore

It’s not even a life

I may as well have died when I was a teenager

Saved myself all this suffering

I don’t want to do it anymore

Call me when someone worth living for calls me

There is nothing here for me in this wasteland

I don’t want to do this anymore