Elucidating Questions

Oh this unbridled panic

Did you see me so optimistic I would fix the problem until the day it was too late?

Believe you say

It’s not a problem until I can’t fix it so I’ll just keep it to myself okay?

I was so sure

It’s almost comical how sure I was

Dangling ever nearer to it

Homelessness

The inability to care for my animals

They would probably be better without me anyways

All I can think about is crying

Not that it’s ever solved a problem before but I just

I just want to cry until someone comes to lie and tell me it’s okay

Even if it’s not true

Even if it will never be true

There’s so little in me left

I don’t know why I’m dragging my sorry, barely functioning, carcass through this stupid human race that is more like trying to scale a sheer cliff and some people get safety gear and some people don’t

Some get a rope up

There is a very real possibility that this chronicle of mine will end when my life at this place does

And that end is coming ever nearer

Now don’t you all come tumbling out of the woodwork to help or anything

If I say it three times will it come?

Help

Help

Help

I’m clicking my heels

Desperately

Oh help

I just fucked right up again

Don’t mind me

Dreaming of words

Living in hell

So do I kill myself before I end up homeless or just go along with this too?

Just submit

I wish I could

I wish I could believe anything here has my best interest at heart

I continue to be nothing

Who’s going to save me if the only one coming to save me is me?

Who’s going to save me from me?