Elucidating Questions

I’m not doing great

As in there’s not doing great and then there’s me

I can’t seem to will myself to wake up in the mornings

Make my coffee

Make breakfast

It’s like it’s so monumental a task I can’t even envision me doing it

If there is coffee I will drink it

If there’s food I will eat it

But the task of making those things

I feel like I’m barely conscious even now

I had to stand in the Sun and have him hold me together for a moment

Remind me I’m here

That this reality isn’t just some inbetween spot

Dreams on either side

I do more in my dreams than I can even dream of in real life

If anything I’m living in my dreams and my days are just time to kill

Yes I do feel the Wind in my face

Just

Everything here is so detached

Nothing real

Nothing

But my dreams I live in

See people

Do things

Real life feels like the dream

Sure enough the only way to save me is for daylight to mean something

But that’s unlikely to happen

When I disappear

Because I was left alone for so long

I wonder if I’ll just be dreaming forever

The sleeping beauty who wasn’t a beauty and never woke up again

Maybe it would be kinder to have dementia

Than to continue living like this