Elucidating Questions

So many will disappear into it

Who’s going back 3000 into the madness?

3000 moments in time

Some I can explain

Some I can’t

If I could break the pain

Wander in the light without the chains

When I see chances I take them

There just haven’t been many

Some people get more chances than others

It’s probably partially my fault

For being shy

But what did the world expect?

I’m told I was an incredibly outgoing kid

Well toddler I guess

I never felt genuine connection when I was young

I have memories of being 5 and going to birthday parties and having them and

Those people never stuck

No one ever did

Except the people who are stuck with me

If I could change reality

Just a bit

I would make me stickier

I don’t know what about myself I can change to fit other people

I tried everything

I mean, so many times

I’m still this me that no one really needs around

Sometimes I exist to spite all the people that don’t need me

I feel like I tried to pull a cool shortcut in Mario Kart and fell off the path

If I pile it

And pile it

Will it somehow become better?

You didn’t want to be shown

Misunderstood the assignment

Sing it back but actually no

Here I go taking things literally again

I may not have value

My song may be worthless

Has any song gone as long and as unsung?

No melody nor music

Well, no

The music is written in in ways you couldn’t imagine

I don’t know about you

But I see all this bleeding and think

If someone had come along to help pick up the pieces

It would have created a different world

It must be easy to love the world when you have friends and a person who love you

I don’t know about you

But I am very alone here

Surrounded by beings whose languages I don’t speak

I used to day dream about this house in the woods by a waterfall

Worry that I would get lonely there

Well, joke’s on us I guess

Because I live in the middle of “civilization”

And I’m lonely here

Never alone

But so lonely

自分に似てる人ってないの？

Am I even human?