Elucidating Questions

Doing tiny good things

Reaching out to people who are struggling

Giving them a bit of the Tohru treatment

I didn’t realise it could make a difference

I hope it did

Hold on little light

I know the words in my soul

Why are they not for me?

I was waiting for someone else to say them

Even though I know they’re true

I wanted him to say them

Why can’t you come out and face me

Face to face

And say the words I need to hear?

It’s not enough from myself

It feels

It still feels like I can’t just decide these things for myself

Why then should I be able to decide them for others?

Why kindness for others and not me?

I want other people to be gentle with themselves

I hope I made a difference

I hope that person gets back up

Like I do

I want to teach people that

It doesn’t matter how far down the beast hits you

You can get up

If there is something to be apathetic towards

It is suicide

Meh, I’ll get to it later

And just keep putting it off until you come back around

The beast backs off

You can scream you want to die, over and over if you want to

If letting the universe know helps

I’m sorry people so rarely care

Or they act as if wanting to die is some psychosis

I have experienced psychosis

I have experienced depression induced suicidal thoughts

When I scream I want to die

What I usually mean is I want to be loved

What I don’t need is irritation that they have to deal with me and my thoughts

That’s all I’ve ever had

I want to be a gentle place for stars to land

So many missions

I just fear I’ll never be able to stand up to my own expectations

Let alone anyone else’s

May there never be a day I’m blind to you Sol

It’s funny I can still feel your pressure even though the light is filtered

Is some other thing the pressure?

When I feel it I forget for a moment

All the things I should be doing

Thinking of

Worrying about

I want others to step into the light with me

To stand up to this monster and say

Not me, bitch

Not me