Elucidating Questions

Oh you

Asking the tough questions

Me imagining cats in my future

You asking why I can’t then imagine myself a partner

If I imagine someone

And it ends up being someone completely different

Doesn’t it put unfair expectations on them?

And obtaining a cat

Is far easier than obtaining a human

Sure I can say

I imagine someone who loves me in my future

But the thing is I have had cats

I know cats exist

No one has ever loved me

Not the way I want to be

It’s not like my mum and dad don’t love me

It’s not like I don’t know that

It’s not the type of love I need

Not that I’d even know I suppose

Oh how I imagined

Be more specific

Be less specific

But also don’t look for love or you’ll never find it

Aphrodite I protest

How am I supposed to find something I’m not looking for?

How am I supposed to not look for it when it’s all I’ve ever wanted?

Expect the unexpected

But you’ll find love when you least expect it

So many fucking contradictions

Taught to this tiny me

I want to be part of his world

Be less specific

I want to be part of a world that is life being lived

Not watched with horror through news stories and internet discourse

Not a cloud in the sky

The Wind blew away the heat a fair bit

Then left

Ah they show me a whisper

Always where I look

How to escape this place

I feel helpless like some damsel and I hate it

I don’t want to be saved

I want to save people

I can’t imagine a person that could possibly need me

Not like I need them