Elucidating Questions

That was a dream?

I’d say you jest

But it’s so hard to tell dreams from reality

I can hardly remember either

You know when I called them into my dreams

I didn’t mean him

Ah that shooting star was amazing

I could practically hear it burning

The atmosphere spitting around it

It did that fun pulsating thing

The sky kept telling me to look there

I’m like, why? I can’t see a star?

A teeny tiny light kept my focus

And then boom

The sky was on fire

Marvelous

And that little rock?

How far did it travel to reach this destination?

And it was amazing

It was really a dream?

They looked so happy

Is looking at a picture in a dream looking at a picture in a picture?

I hope it’s the future.

That they have fun

I don’t know why

Maybe I’ll never know

Maybe I just needed one thing to hold on to

Hanging out of bunks and standing around

In their moment in between

Never would have thought I’d be dreaming up pictures of famous people

Maybe it was a memory

They’re certainly busy

They work hard

Is the thing

Even though I wouldn’t willingly step foot in the US

But they’re also all a bunch of attractive white men so

I mean I still wouldn’t

Let’s say I disagree with their fundamentals

But I don’t know anyone else who works as hard as he does

It’s like he never stops

I just

I imagine someone with deep emotions

When I think of someone who is right for me

And doubt has set in

It’s hard to believe you know something about someone you know nothing about

Would someone who feels deeply be afraid of me?

Wouldn’t they see this solo dance and

I never know what follows and

Something

But when I seek out wanting to be saved I just think about how everyone told me to save myself

Tell me how it is we see someone drowning in water and rush to save them, assuming they can’t save themselves

But when someone is drowning in the ocean that is mental health we run away while calling “save yourself”

I tried everything included in whatever doing nothing is and I’m out of ideas bye!

So I searched blindly and ended up hurt

I imagine running into my former mum

The mum who said she chose me and then within a year had turned her back on me

And then I remember all over again

She doesn’t need me

She probably doesn’t remember me

None of them do

No one ever recognises that I’m doing the best I can

I no longer want people who don’t see me in my life anyways

I wish I didn’t dream of them so

Though they don’t usually say the nicest things anymore

Dreams are weird

So real in the dark