Elucidating Questions

It’s quiet

The evening is closing in again

Another day gone

The same amount accomplished as always

There’s a little part of me that dreads the evening as much as the morning

The evening being a sign that this will be yet another day where nothing changes

The morning being the beginning of another day where nothing changes

Nothing changes

Dreaming ended when my body stole every possibility from me

I used to dream of standing on stage

Or of teaching English elsewhere

Oh to sing to a crowd again

But if I allow myself to dream now it will only end with the reality that it can’t happen for me

It can happen for others but not for me

It feels like there is nothing here for me

Nothing that really needs me to be here

I don’t know why I walk this path

Some Green Day song

How bullshit is it that a famous singer “walks a lonely road”

If he only knew what lonely feels like

If only they all knew

I don’t want people to suffer but no one else seems to be capable of understanding this

Oh you’re lonely that’s sad I’m busy right now bye

Yeah it is sad

And I have tried

So hard

To be okay with this solitude because other people require it of me

But don’t I get to say it’s enough?

Isn’t that my call?

Maybe not

But then it isn’t anyone else’s call either

No one realised how powerless we all are

They think tomorrow is guaranteed

The thing is, tomorrow may be

But its contents are not

People should be planning for the worst

Ensuring their own safety

I don’t know if that day will come for humanity

I don’t know