Elucidating Questions

I’m here

Incomplete

I think I felt most complete when I was standing on stage

But that’s not the way it went

I didn’t get to keep being on stage

Constantly trying to fill this hole in me

They all tell me that I should think positively

At least the Sun will be there for me in the morning

Even though no one else will be

And everyone else has someone else

All these people I know

All with someone

I don’t think I would be fixed by love

But it couldn’t hurt, right?

I thought love was a good thing but the Universe won’t let me experience it

Not beyond the light of the Sun

How it feels to be told to just be happy with the light of the Sun

The only thing promised

And even then

Anything could happen

Maybe that old angry man really was throwing another one

Who knows

It’s so hard to be content with living like this for another 10 years

But the days they become just a sequence of revolutions

Maybe it will be faster than I know

I feel sorry for the me that has to face their death head on

It had been a while since that cold truth had looked me in the face

If I don’t die there’s no meaning for any of it

The meaning it started out having it never met

Now there’s no way to make the words love unless I am not here to explain them

People have to be searching for a reason why I’m dead to find it

How many sacrifices will this society claim?

Are we better than any civilization that committed ritual sacrifice?

Ripening up our chosen lambs

Disabled people and those unhoused

Waiting until they’re ready to be erased

For the good of society

An interesting choice

I wonder if the gods find us more filling than any other sacrifice

It’s sad because I think of how many people died for society to get better and it never did

I wish I could see a shooting star

To wish on that Death will meet me with a smile anyways

It’s a mixing of messages

Society tells me to do it

Because there’s no other way

Yet you’re all there saying continue

Always continue

From here?

What do you expect me to do from here?

I am cornered

What else can I do?