Elucidating Questions

I await your arrival

Stalking you through the sky waiting

Oh why can’t it be two weeks from now?

I’m sure you’ll have risen by then

The you who I associate with him

Afterall

It was only after I sought you that he appeared

Repetitive as it is

To see you

It’s worth it to see someone

Even if it is my own sick brain giving me someone to love

Even if

I can’t believe I went through my entire life not knowing I could see you

And him

Oh how many times have I set eyes on you not knowing?

There’s no way I could forget

You keep reminding me

Seen into this strange canon of mine

Are you all?

Or just a moment?

Is it all just a moment I wonder

Yes, so many questions

Always so many questions

And you unanswering ones

The humans are celebrating a country that shouldn’t be celebrated

On the other side of the world there’s them

Having both of you at once is probably some foreboding thing

At either horizon

Ah

I trouble myself with these things because I have no one to trouble myself with

Will I know the answers in you?

In some other place?

I wonder what he’s doing

I can’t even imagine

I can’t imagine a life with people all the time

That love and admire you

I can’t even imagine myself a beat friend

It’s a wonder I haven’t made up some

Haha

This nothing existence

I wish I had a sliver of what they all do

Someone who would let me cry

Someone I feel safe crying with

Why can’t you just accept that my life is hell and not try to tell me to look on the bright side constantly?

I wish every person who told me to look on the brightside had to live through this

No I don’t

I would wish this strange solitary confinement on only my worst enemies

And then I’d feel guilty halfway through and rescue them probably

This nothing me

So afraid of The Nothing

As soon as you think of it it’s not nothing for a moment

And then you forget and it becomes that unfathomable thing

Nothing again

Goodnight dear Sol

Hermes

Maybe the reason you show me so many shooting stars is that you feel sorry for me

I’ve wished on every one

Wishes don’t come true

My wishes don’t come true