Elucidating Questions

Me yelling at Spotify to play something other than the same 50 songs

I have 3000 songs

There is no way you can’t give me variety

Nah same songs over and over

I’m never quite on time am I?

I wish I could tell people who are rude to me off

I wish I could tell men who for some reason need to be right behind the person at the counter off

Like what are you doing?

Looming over this poor woman won’t make her move faster

Kids?

I’m like Ugh why won’t their parents call them back

But grown freaking men?

Respect people’s personal space?

Also, I pray, please, people in line, this need to put on your best resting bitch face and stare

At me

And for the love of god stop handing me inside out clothing

Not only because I can’t find the tag

But because I don’t want your gross body stank on my hands?

This woman tried on clothes today

Handed them to me inside out

This shit reaked

Of perfume

She goes

Oh nevermind I don’t want that one

So, one, I have to sanitize my hands now

Because I’ve been second-handling her naked body

Just gross

And two this stinky ass thing is going back on the floor probably for someone to complain it stinks and they want a discount or we’ll have to destroy it

Thanks lady

I’m sure there’s no one on the planet who desperately needed a shirt today

This is the moment I look into the camera like The Office

And Hermes laughs

This profession is driving me crazy

We found liquid shit in the garbage bin in the bathroom the other day

I wasn’t even surprised I just felt bad for my manager

Human beings, man

Weird fucking things

Like you think I have a bad outlook on humanity I have seen shit

Literally

All over a bathroom

At least this was in the garbage!

When humanity in general can just be less shit

There was a lovely human today who has a stupid return

The stupidity was 100% not on this human but my overlords who think it’s a good idea to have merchandise from multiple locations, with a code for each location, all being sent to us to be returned

Store 4, US 2, Online 3

So on the receipt because it was online these items had a 3

But on the barcode on the item it’s 4

Machine is like no sorry that’s not on the receipt

This poor human waited 2 days to get this sorted out and was a complete joy to serve

This person wins person of the day

And not the woman who showed up five minutes after open with a $50 cash refund

Screwed the hell out of my till for the day thanks

Ah servitude

And I really didn’t need that pain attack.

Whatever the fuck that was about