Elucidating Questions

I’m a genius

He announced this to me

I’m a genius

My Uncle, who was a genius, never said anything about his intelligence

Sick men often think they’re the smartest

There was some kind of explosion

Just a few minutes ago

There were already sirens wailing so I don’t know whether it was supposed to happen or not

I don’t know how these people just live through their days without being tripped up by these things

A strange man announcing he’s a genius

An explosion somewhere

It’s been a day already

I don’t find hope in this strange wasteland

That has laid waste to the land

I had some concerning dreams last night

I wonder what has changed?

I want him to be okay

Like my level of okay

Not a regular person’s

Like an, I’m hanging in there because, well, I don’t know why because, but here I am, way

I wouldn’t wish this hanging on on to anyone but if he can’t be okay at least have him hanging on

I just want to go to sleep today

I feel like I’ve done my doing for the week already and it’s Tuesday

I want to drink the alcohol that’s in my fridge really badly

But it’s before noon

It’ll be okay because no one cares that I’m drinking and I’ll drink it all before anyone ever knows it was there

No one knows because no one cares to know

No one is so invasive in my life that they’d be going in my fridge

I say invasive, but I wish

I wish I knew someone so well that they’d just stop by and go into my fridge

I want someone who isn’t completely toxic to take a notice in me

Why is that so much to ask?

Yeah, I get it, ugly and fat

Is that really all these shallow monkeys see?

So driven by carnal desires they can’t even see a person for who they are and not: fuckable or not fuckable and therefore: interesting or not interesting?

Fancy monkeys you got there, shame they killed the planet

Because they wouldn’t listen to ugly people

I don’t know

I am not bitter that I’m ugly

I’m bitter that I exist in a place where I am ugly and therefore I am worthless and stupid

I don’t think I’m ever going to get past that

My shape is arbitrary

Never once in my search for a person have I specifically said they had to be capitalism beautiful

Just they have to be beautiful

In the sense of being a loving and accepting human being who can handle my interesting brand of madness

Someone who cares for me would have to be an amazing person

I know I’m not special

But at the very least I am worthy of being loved

So far no one has really seen that

Even when they said they did