Elucidating Questions

It was just time to say fuck it

Everyone else has something to take the edge of the day away

Today was a lot

This headache

My manager quiting

I knew it was coming, but, fuck

The conversation with the guy

Justin?

I can’t just be a bottomless dumping ground for people’s shit

Okay?

I am running

Like I’m not even running on E

Or fumes

I don’t even know how I’m running

I’ve been running

I’ll keep running

But damn

I feel better except the headache

Mind I’m on a couple medications that shouldn’t be mixed

Ah well

Would I prefer to have a person to see and talk with and hold on to for a bit?

Yeah

Am I going to poison myself just enough to feel pretend good for a bit instead?

Yeah, yeah I am

It’s not a problem unless I make it a problem

I wish I knew

But I never will

I wish I could just drown myself in alcohol

But I won’t

I wish I could just fade into a sleep that is more than this life has been

It feels so pointless sometimes, to continue

I’ll say fuck it instead