Elucidating Questions

Why would I have to explain why a rape joke isn’t funny?

That’s not what I was expecting before breakfast

Humans

So far on the bingo for today we have

Delivery drivers should bake in the heat because I worked as a farmer/cook/roofer/other type of driver

And rape jokes

Damn Universe you woke up firey today

And that strange grey blob cloud is still there

Even though it’s windy down here

It would be a really funny joke if I was actually the only sane thing in the Universe

I suffered so you should too

What a thought

See I just want everyone to be here for this hellride because I don’t want to be alone

Not because I want them to suffer

But to think that because you felt pain others should too

We’re talking about queer things this month

Damn

Lower case queer

Not Queer

I just really like that word I don’t use it out loud

It was first introduced to me in a book to mean well

不思議な変な事

Language is so twisted in me

There are feelings attached

And my feelings are apparently Japanese

Good luck I’ve just fallen so far into myself here

But I don’t think I’m the worst person on the planet

Anymore

Look at the edges of it

Pulling

Fraying

Like this great grey tapestry

I want to paint colours on it

Humanity concerns me

Who knows what the actual majority of people are like

People who go into comments sections scare me but not every person does that

But are they the same?

As I pass these faces

Blurred lines

No real substance to anything

What is dreams and what is waking if I can’t remember anything?

Sorry I got lost for a moment

The sadness

I am afraid of this possibility that every relationship I enter into will end with them forgetting I exist

And not forgetting to trample me on the way out

I am brave

I want to get out of bed each day despite my body

Despite my mind

Despite my solitude

But these humans they can do anything up to and including kill you

I’m so paralyzed by my fear that I will

I will just end up hurt again

Or dead