Elucidating Questions

I do not like to think about the fact that this is the beginning of the Sun going away again even though I said he was too close

Again as I always do

He comes back though

As long as I am he will be with me

The poor guy

He’s on my mind

I want to just cheer him on

Tell him to just get through this moment

Another moment follows

Random chest pain

I’ve had to put up with so much in my life and I am trying so hard to not be someone that other people have to put up with

I may very well be incredibly understanding

But that doesn’t really get you places

Being nice doesn’t get you places

I’d still rather be

I’d still like to be noticeable though

Maybe this is my purgatory and I already lived my life

Maybe I was awful

I still think punishing me for things I cannot remember doing is fucked up

But who knows how it works?

I miss Venus

I miss Jupiter

My evening friends

This lack of object permanence

They’re literally all around and I still feel alone

Maybe I am selfish afterall

Needing to see people to feel loved

I don’t know

But if I have to live with only ever seeing people in my dreams

I just wonder why I bothered being born at all