Elucidating Questions

I’ll create by myself for a while

You can take a break

I want my starry sky back

I wish I could send you this moment though

The world mostly quiet except for the speeding cars I can hear flying around town

Please note it is not attractive that I can hear cars

You seriously don’t need to make that much noise

But

Anyways

The last birds of the night are giving their final performance

I still don’t know if birds chirp and dawn and dusk to welcome and say goodnight to the Sun or if they are practicing some religious behaviour of trying to call the Sun back

And rejoicing when it comes

I wonder what they know of the world that I do not

The stars are slowly punching their marks through the sky

Day bleeding into night again

The star I cannot convince myself is Polaris is bright at the top

Arcturus burns

One single light traveling through the sky

A little machine

So much farther up can I can imagine

When humans do not intervene this is a quiet time

Instead I hear them gathered around me again laughing and making conversations with people

It must be nice to laugh for real

I don’t think I’ve laughed for real in over a year

Always laughing instead of being in pain

Nothing genuinely funny

Hahaha another day of people expecting me to know what they want without telling me.

I feel my alone-ness most right now

Solitary confinement

Something is crashing through the bushes

I feel alone

In this world

But

For a moment I am caught up in trying to figure out where those lights are coming from in the sky

Mysteries I will never solve

I wish I could give you this quiet aloneness

Just the moment

Instead I continue down this path of solitude

Who knows what I’m here for?

9 years and 7 months

I set a timer for my life

What happens now is up to fate