Elucidating Questions

Beautiful human

I have a headache suddenly

The weather is clear

It’s hard when the weather betrays you

When you’re feeling dark and cloudy

But the Sun is out and everyone is talking about what a beautiful day it is

When the world can have a beautiful day without you

When it feels like you’re the only one in the gloom

I wonder how you’re doing

The silence is expected

But the worry

I wouldn’t dare demand your attention right now

I wish there was a way to forever know you’re okay

That’s not invasive or illegal

Did she love these sunny days?

Are they from her to try to cheer you?

I would do anything to help you right now

Be a voice in your life that tells you to take you time

Take your time

Dammit

You poor sweet soul

I swear I can feel you aching

Life’s truths are seldom sweet

These absolutes we cannot escape

Sometimes I feel I’m more the embodiment of the Universe’s pain than anything

But, one truth,

Love and its existence

I do not believe they are cruel

They are beautiful

That in this space that appears so be so volatile and chaotic

That love happened here

I cannot remove the pain

It is there because love exists

It is beautiful that we love so fiercely that we hurt with our entire being when our loved ones reach the end of their lives

That we feel their loss so tangibly in a world that would as easily forget them

That we carry in our hearts their memory through our lives

Pain is proof

I’m in pain all the time

So maybe I just get sentimental about pain that has a reason

But this pain in my heart when I think of Tanzy, or Supi, or Tiga, or Onyx, or any of the other dozen lives I’ve been blessed to care for

It wouldn’t be here if I didn’t love them

As unbearable as it is. It’s love.

I recognise this having loved many things with no where for the love to go

Breathe your breaths and feel it

Hold on to someone that won’t let you drown.

If you have someone

I don’t know if I will ever have someone to stop me from going under

But I hope you always will