Elucidating Questions

Thinking of you

As one does when someone they care about loses someone

I really just want to be able to give you time

Pluck it from somewhere

Move everything that wants your presentable face out of your way until it feels like you can put it on without hurting your soul

I cannot say sorry enough

Even knowing sometimes sorry doesn’t fix anything

Tell you how I have wailed each time I’ve lost a piggy

My cats

I can’t remember farther back than that

I once treated animals like furniture

How I was taught to instead of how I wanted to

Desperately mirroring the world around me in a bid to trick it into thinking I was normal

So many regrets

And I don’t want you to come to a time down the road and realise you never got to process

Like I have so many times

Reality always demanding you be present when you’d rather hide

I need someone to talk to

I hope you have someone to talk to

And that you do

I know you probably want to shut down

I don’t know whether you’re the type to throw yourself into work or hide away physically

Maybe I’m imagining it

Still worried

Still thinking about you

Still wish I could work the world into a place where you could get some rest right now