Elucidating Questions

I see you Universe

I see you carrying on the cup reference

But, tell me, where do I fill this cup from?

From the poison dripping on Loki?

With what?

My cup has been empty for years

I’ve just been continuing on in this post loss of whatever I was trying to do

I have begged for others to

And they don’t have to

Who cares if my cup is empty when they all have their own family members to fill their own cups

People other than me

No one owes me

Any of the things I need from people

See, that’s the sick part

You come into this world with needs and it’s no one’s job to fill them but your own

And social is a need but you can’t fill that on your own

But no one is required to help you

In fact

They will watch you drowning in solitary confinement for 10 years and say

“I’m sorry”

When you cry out because of it while continuing to do nothing

Ever an afterthought

Women whining about always being a bridesmaid

At least you have fucking friends whose weddings you’re involved in

And I am currently too preoccupied with the now not content critter

How you expect me to fill said cup

You haven’t said

Just continued the theme and said “but you have to fill yours first”

I hope he gets some sleep tonight

I feel the demons will be keeping me awake into the wee hours again

There’s something to be said about an individual with absolutely no reason to continue existing doing so anyways

I’m not sure if they’re words of pity or praise

Deliver unto me a reason

The reason can’t be what I want it to be

They say it’s a chapter in my life

If I get to the end of the next decade and I’m still living like this I’ll apply for MAID

I’ll just give up

Maybe setting an expiry date for this agony will make it easier to bear

10 years as of my birthday

I feel a sadness that this is all my life was

33 years of pointlessness

But maybe it’s a blessing that the government wants people like me to disappear

Because I can