Elucidating Questions

I was on the bus and a young girl recognised my Cinnamoroll mascot on my walker

I made it from a kit and some personalization

Her mother asked if I sell them

And this has become a constant in my life

Do you sell them?

No

If I was to sell them I’d have to market myself

And figure out what I’m really worth

And deal with people telling me it’s too expensive

I don’t have a fire in me

I can’t sell myself

It’s a wonder I get through interviews for minimum wage stuff

And they’re not even good enough

I’d have to market myself as imperfect

Which I am, but

Consumers expect perfection

I am in no way a perfectionist

To stand on my own feet and decide my worth and fight for it

I’d have to believe things I make have value

Not that they don’t have personal value

But with, like, money

We hate money

I feel like it would almost cheapen them

Their value to me is more than what other people see

Like I might part with Blueberry if you gave me $500

Because then I could go make a second one and also eat for a week or so

You’d have to fight me over Dandelion

They’re special and unless you’re going to pay me enough to actually put a dent in my suffering why would I spend hours of my life crocheting only to never enjoy the result?

Nah

It’s not that I am worth that much

I’m just not going to sell a plushie that cost $40 in materials for $40

And I’m not willing to fight with people who think it should be that way